Dr’s Appointment

Today I had my first big appointment with my regular doc.  We discussed H1N1 and what he recommended.  I will be trying to wait until they come out with the new shot that has the tested and safe adjuvant for pregnant ladies.  Since I do not have children in school, work outside the home or take Taylor to high risk areas I should be okay.  It’s scary because so many people I know or am familiar with are getting the swine flu.  My good friend’s grand daughter has it and she told me that it is starting to go through the schools like crazy.  Not good!  I do need to take Taylor soon though!

Other than that big decision my appointment was pretty uneventful.  I have been having heart palpatations for the last few weeks and they have been getting progressively worse.  At first it would happen once every few days, now it is happening almost hourly.  It is pretty annoying but I have been told it is normal for pregnant women.  I hope it doesn’t stay this way until delivery lol!  Stress, exhaustion, or exertion seems to bring it on pretty quickly so I see why I have it all the time now…  I’m always tired!

My doctor pulled out the fetal doppler to listen to the baby’s heartbeat today.  He said we should be able to hear it by now.  I told him he would be able to hear it and showed him the best spot to find it LOL!!  I rented one a month ago and have been listening to it regularily.  He was surprised that you could rent them so easily online.  I didn’t rent mine for long because once I start feeling the baby move it’s like someone pressed a relax button so it will be going back soon.  I can’t wait to start feeling the baby soon.  Tomorrow I will be 14 weeks and so the second trimester begins.  Only 5 more weeks until the gender is revealed!   (Hopefully)

I got it to work!

So I finally figured out the scanner and I just have to scan using photo image and not b&w image.  We went for the prenatal screening yesterday and the little bean was doing rolls and kicking up a storm!  I said uh-oh, it just might be a hyper little boy after all.  I have been really feeling that it is a girl but that just might be wishful thinking lol.  Of course we will be thrilled no matter what the sex is but when I was growing up I wished I had a sister and I was hoping for a sister for Taylor.  However it would be great to have a Momma’s boy too.  Can anyone out there read u/s pics?  If so, can they tell me if that is perhaps a little something protruding from between the baby’s legs?!  Most of my other IVF friends are told what the sex is but they do things differently here.  My anatomy scan is scheduled for December 2nd.  I hope we will be able to find out then, Taylor was shy and we had to pay for another u/s. 

My Scanner Sucks!

I have tried and tried to scan my ultrasound picture but no matter how hard I try to lighten it it just won’t turn out.  It is actually pretty hard to make anything out unless I was to point out what you are looking at anyways.  So for now here is a different picture LOL. 

One Pea In The Pod

We had our ultra sound today and we have one baby in there!  Although twins would have been great, a singleton is perfect and we are very excited.  I will try to upload the picture we were given tomorrow.  The belly bean was wiggling and dancing up a storm.  I am measuring 8 weeks and 5 days and I am currently 8 weeks and 4 days so we are right on track.  The heartbeat was 182 beat per minute.  Taylor was 181 beats per minute, so if you believe the old wives tales you can guess it’s a girl, which would be fine with me LOL! 

I was getting nervous…

So I POAS last night and this morning and now I feel better.  I just wanted to make sure the lines weren’t lighter and they weren’t.

Last night’s test.  The test line popped up right away and it was the control line that I was waiting to pop up LOL!  I can’t believe that the test line is much darker than the control line.

This was this mornings test and it is darker than the last test I took so I feel reassured again.  I still have another test because I am sure I will be freaking out in another week or two.  Hurry up Sept 21st!!

Yikes!

We went to the clinic yesterday to get my beta done.  I was hoping for a # in the 400-500 range because that was the average for 18 days past transfer.  I thought maybe I might have a higher # because when I was pg with Taylor my # at 17 days past transfer was 940.  The nurse called and said I see you decided to make the trip to the clinic to get the beta and I said yes, blah, blah, blah.  Then she said well it was worth it because the test was positive.  Then she asked me how many I transferred and I told her 2 and then she said something else like Oh two, I see.  Then I asked what the # was and then she said well that’s why I asked how many because your # is 1938!!  I said “Wowser, that’s really high LOL”.  She agreed and said we wouldn’t be sure until the u/s but it  sounds like there are two in there.  I’m still not so sure.  I had such a high beta with Taylor that I think it could still only be one.   Either way we are really excited and I can’t wait for the u/s.  It is scheduled for the 21st of September… soooo far away!  We are really hoping to see a heartbeat and have a healthy baby in 9 months.

Getting darker

Well today’s test is starting to look more like the control line so I think I might stop POAS LOL!  I only have one left and knowing me if this belly bean does stick there will come a time between my monthly appointments with the doctor that I will absolutely convince myself that the worst has happened.  I kept a few of the pee sticks in my office when I was working  just for that reason.  I have changed my mind again and I will make the drive to Ottawa for my beta test.  I can’t wait to get the # until Tuesday, so I will post when I know what it is.

So far so good!

I have been POAS since the day of my trigger.  I got a BFP until 8 days after the trigger and after that it was BFNs.  On Saturday I got the faintest of lines, so much so that I wasn’t sure if it was there or not.  On Sunday it was still really light so I still didn’t want to say anything.  On Monday it was darker, but still light.  This is today’s test.  Still light but much darker than Saturday’s squint test.  My beta is scheduled for Monday, I tried to move it to Friday but the clinic wasn’t budging!  So hopefully it is a nice high beta because they won’t do a repeat beta and my u/s isn’t scheduled until the 21st of September!  That’s a long time to worry about everything that can happen LOL.  DH and I are very excited but very cautious, however it’s hard not to dream about all the great things to come.  So exciting yet so terrifying!

Babies on Ice?

Nope!  They weren’t able to freeze any of the embryos but honestly I wasn’t expecting to be able to.  Because of that fact I am not all that bothered by it.  Would it have been nice?  You bet.  It just wasn’t in the cards for us.  Hopefully 1 of the 2 they transferred will stick around for the next nine and a half months to make up for it LOL! 

Transfer Report

The house of cards has been built!  Hopefully there isn’t a breeze LOL.  We transferred 2 blasts today.  They were both graded 2.5, so not great but not bad, just average.  One blast was farther ahead than the other.  The one that was farther ahead was a B4 which is just before a hatching blast, so I guess right were it should be.  The other one was a B1.  My RE gave me about a 40-50% chance of getting pg and about a 30% chance of twins.  It is still much higher than the "fertiles" have so I'll take what I can get LOL!  There were 3 morulas that they were growing out today and we may or may not have some to freeze.  I have to call tomorrow morning to find out if there were.  My beta test is on August 24th but I will POAS long before then, I’m impatient like that.  One second I have a good feeling then the next… not so much, but that’s just the way it goes.

5 Day Transfer

As the title suggests we are on for a 5 day transfer.  I didn’t hear from them today so that means we will have the transfer on Tuesday.  The clinic will call me tomorrow or Monday with the time to come in.  When they call they will not tell me how many embies are left, how they are growing, or give me grades… this is good or bad depending on how you look at it.  On one hand it is nice not to have to worry for 2 more days if they aren’t where they should be but on the other you don’t know how they are at all!  I like to know as much as possible as soon as possible LOL!!  I guess I might as well just try and forget about it because stressing about it won’t change a thing, so for the next 2 days I might as well be the guy in the photo LOL!!!

The Report

Well out of the 9 eggs they retrieved 9 were mature and 9 fertilized.  So we have 9 babies on the grow!  I am scheduled to go in on Tuesday for the transfer but if less than 5 look good tomorrow they will call me and I will go in on Sunday for the transfer.  It would be nice if there were some to freeze but I am not expecting it and would be thrilled if just one looked good by the time the transfer rolls around.  Grow embies grow!

OUCH!

They retrieved 9 eggs.  Now all they have to do is ICSI them and let nature take it’s course (as much as possible when it comes to IVF).  I will know more tomorrow when they call and give me the update.  I have to say that this was the most painful ER yet!  It is fun to watch the follicles being drained though.  I was feeling no pain and quite high until the RE really started pushing down to get to the follicles in the back.  It felt like he was pinching a nerve and both of my legs had shooting pains going down them but thankfully it didn't last more than 5 minutes.  I am tired because we got up at 4:30 this morning and a bit sore but other than that I feel good.  My E2 on Tuesday was 6994 Canadian or 1906 American.  I had the newbie RE do my ER today but the RE that did my last retrieval was in the room guiding him.  I think I might have preferred the original LOL! 

Time to trigger!

I was right, I trigger tonight.  I trigger tonight at 8:30.  My E2 was the highest it has ever been on day 10.  With my first cycle it was in the 3000’s Canadian or 700's American, with this cycle it is 5024 Canadian or 1369 American.  So it's nice to see a higher E2 than the first cycle, maybe this means we might have a few good quality embies… then again maybe not LOL, who knows?!  I had 1 @20, 4 @18, and 4 @17, the rest were @16 and below.  My ER is Thursday morning at 8:30.  I am happy to be able to sleep in tomorrow, after getting up at 5:00 am for the past few days 8:00 or 9:00 (depending on when DD gets up) seems like sleeping in real late LOL!!

One More Day?

I went in today not expecting to trigger and that's exactly what happened LOL.  I have to go back again tomorrow.  This time I think I will be triggering tomorrow.  Apparently 5 more follicles have decided to make a push for retrieval so now I have 11 follicles from 12-18mm.  So they want to try and let the 5 smaller  follicles catch up. I still don't think many more than 6 will be of quality and I'm fine with that. My E2 is starting to rise nicely.  It is a bit higher now than the first cycle  so that is encouraging.   I was also looking at my lining measurement and I made a mistake.  It is almost 12mm not 17 mm LOL, I thought it said 1.77 cm but it was actually 1.17cm and it was 1.18 cm today.

Still Stimming

Today I had 6 follicles in the 12-16mm range.  I also had 20 some other smaller follicles but they won’t catch up or if they do be of quality.  My lining is at 17mm, I am wondering when it becomes too thick LOL!  So far this cycle is so similar to the first one… let’s hope it ends the same.  My E2 on Friday was 1097 Canadian and 299 American.  I have to go back tomorrow for another check.  They said I might trigger tomorrow but usually when they say that it never turns out that way LOL. 

A familiar place

I seem to be stimulating similar to my first cycle.  It is a slow start but not quite as slow as before.  Today I had 6 measurable follicles and 24 smaller ones.  My E2 is low like my first cycle too, 301 Canadian and 82 American, but I start out very low too.   The only difference is that I had some measurable on day 7 (today), with my first cycle I didn’t have any measurable until day 9 so I am a little ahead.  Another huge difference is the fact that I am not a giant ball of stress assuming the worst.  I’m not expecting the best either but this time I am just waiting to see what happens before I start freaking out LOL.  I know from past experience that not every cycle is perfect and I can’t expect it to be.  I have to go back on Sunday.  BTW – 5:00 am is EARLY!!  My lining was 13mm, which is good and thick. 

First Appointment with Wanda!

I had my first blood work & ultrasound appointment today.  I assumed the position and “wanda” told me that I had 16 follicles on my left ovary and 20 on my right.  None were measurable (over 10mm) and they all will not be within range when I trigger, so I’m sure I won’t get 36 eggs at ER.  The ultrasound tech said I had high producing ovaries… now only if they produced better quality eggs LOL, then we would be cooking, but beggars can’t be choosers so I’ll take what I can get!  They also saw a small cyst beside (not on) my ovary and said it wasn’t a concern at all, it was just there along for the ride LOL!  My E2 levels are  unknown to me because they never called me!  The RE already told me what dose of meds to take so I’m not sure if I was supposed to get a call or not?!  I will ask when I go back what it was, and yes, I am charting all of this.  I can’t help it, it’s the type “A” coming out in me LOL!  I have to go back Friday for another appointment.

Ready, Set… GO!

We drove down to Ottawa last night and stayed at a hotel so I didn’t have to get up at 5:30 am.  Taylor had a fun time exploring the room and wasn’t afraid at all.  However, when it was time to go to sleep she had some troubles.  It was 9:30 before she finally went to sleep and she tossed and turned and cried multiple time throughout the night.  I guess she is too used to her own bed LOL.  We will not be staying in the hotel all together again until we have to.  The next time I need to go I will be going it alone until the ER.  So I went in this morning and had my blood drawn, just like the picture above, and no, that is not me.  When we got home the clinic called and gave me the all clear to start, yippee!  So I reduce my suprefact to .2 and start taking 150 of the puregon tonight.  I have to go back for b/w & u/s on Tuesday morning.  I grab Mike’s inspection book to cross off the morning appointment and it is already booked… UGH, isn’t that how it always goes?!  So with all that said I now leave you with this picture:

Almost time!

Time’s closing in on me!  Friday is quickly approaching and I am feeling nervous, anxious and excited.  It’s the uncertainty that’s the killer and all the what if’s.  I’m doing my best not to think about it too much but how can I not?  Taylor is of course a huge help in all regards, especially if it is a negative outcome. 

Good Riddance

I must say I am not sad to see the end of these little pills!  I am terrible at remembering to take them this time around.  I am taking them at 9:00 pm this time and it is a horrible time.  It was so much easier to remember them in the morning.  I just downed the last one a half an hour ago, and when I swallowed I gave a little closed fist hand pump!  So long BCP’s, I hate you, but will gladly take you any day if that’s what it takes.

Feeling Exposed!

I am a guarded person, it’s as simple as that.  I have issues with expressing my feelings, not so much on paper, but certainly in person.  I don’t know if it is a lack of something or a deeper issue, I’m guessing the later LOL!  I just don’t feel comfortable with people seeing me vulnerable, it makes me feel that much more exposed.  This doesn’t mean I don’t care about other people because I really do.  I don’t like seeing others in pain whether it be physically or emotionally and I genuinely wish I could help them in some way… just not verbally… face to face LOL!!  I get awkward, sweaty and fidgety if I have to try to console someone in person.  The same is usually true if I try to give a heartfelt “Thank-you” (so glad there are Thank-you cards that you write things on!)   On paper I can do it with no problem because I’m not worried about them seeing me with my guard down and can easily express myself. 

I do not have any of these issues with my daughter.  It is so funny and great how they can bring out the best in people!  Funny enough, my foot phobia (feet—GAG!!) disappears with her too, however I think the foot phobia will return when she is a teenager. 

Now what has got me feeling all unnerved?  Two silly dreams!  I had 2 dreams that I got a BFP.  I was very excited and happy in my dream and then I woke up.  I hate that feeling when you realized it was just a dream and it wasn’t real but even more than that I hate that I am having these dreams at all!!  I don’t want to dream about getting BFN’s either but for me they are easier to handle.  For me, going into an IVF cycle expecting the worst and hoping for the best is far easier than expecting the best.  These dreams are throwing me for a loop because I think subconsciously I am expecting this to work and don’t want to be super disappointed if it doesn’t.  Consciously, I know that this cycle has less of a chance at working than my first cycle and I tell myself that everyday, but as the starting date draws closer I can’t help feeling too excited for my own good.  That is why I am normally guarded, when you don’t expect much, you are not often disappointed. 

Geese, I ‘m a big ball of happiness tonight aren’t I, LOL?! 

Let the shots begin!

My days as a pin cushion have officially begun… again!  Today at 4:00 pm I injected my first shot of suprefact.  So far so good, my mood is light, no headaches, no nausea, and no hot flashes, yeah.  However, this is only day one, I still have almost 4 more weeks left to go.   

BFPT 111

You know you have IVF on the mind when you are stuck in the Tim Horton’s line up and the license plate of the car in front of you makes you smile and gives you hope.  BFP in the infertility world means Big Fat Positive.  I notice this BFP in the first part of the plate and then I tried to take it one step further.  Imagine my delight when I work it out to exactly the way I want it.  BFPT – Big Fat Positive Test!  111 – 3 lines = 2 lines (as in a positive) and 1 line (as in control line) LOL!!  Who the hell thinks of these crazy things aside from me?  I have been seeing lots of BFPT plates since then (now that I’m looking for them) but none of them worked out like this first one I spotted.  I hope I don’t see any BFNT plates or I will probably start counting all of them and see which ones are in the lead. 

I spoke with my insurance agent and the meds will be covered!  All I have to do is mail in the original receipt with a form and they will mail me a cheque back.  I am going to wait until the stimming part of the cycle is over though because I am positive I will need more Puregon. 

It was bound to happen

I just knew everything was going along too smoothly LOL!  I picked up my meds and some of them were covered just not the one I wanted to be covered.  I can’t complain too much because we have saved over $400.00 so far but the Puregon wasn’t and that was the big one.   I am going to try to call my insurance rep tomorrow to see why it wasn’t and make a minor stink about it.  The policy says Infertility Meds with a lifetime of $4000.00.  I am using the Puregon for IF so to me it should be covered.  We’ll see what happens but I won’t let it get to me, for some reason I just knew this was going to be an issue.

Marvelous Marvelon

It seems funny to be posting a picture of these again!  It was just over 2 years ago when I posted with the same title and this picture:Different counter top (I really wish I still had that one)  but the same pills.   So tonight I will begin taking this ironic little pill and hopefully get pregnant!