Dr’s Appointment

Today I had my first big appointment with my regular doc.  We discussed H1N1 and what he recommended.  I will be trying to wait until they come out with the new shot that has the tested and safe adjuvant for pregnant ladies.  Since I do not have children in school, work outside the home or take Taylor to high risk areas I should be okay.  It’s scary because so many people I know or am familiar with are getting the swine flu.  My good friend’s grand daughter has it and she told me that it is starting to go through the schools like crazy.  Not good!  I do need to take Taylor soon though!

Other than that big decision my appointment was pretty uneventful.  I have been having heart palpatations for the last few weeks and they have been getting progressively worse.  At first it would happen once every few days, now it is happening almost hourly.  It is pretty annoying but I have been told it is normal for pregnant women.  I hope it doesn’t stay this way until delivery lol!  Stress, exhaustion, or exertion seems to bring it on pretty quickly so I see why I have it all the time now…  I’m always tired!

My doctor pulled out the fetal doppler to listen to the baby’s heartbeat today.  He said we should be able to hear it by now.  I told him he would be able to hear it and showed him the best spot to find it LOL!!  I rented one a month ago and have been listening to it regularily.  He was surprised that you could rent them so easily online.  I didn’t rent mine for long because once I start feeling the baby move it’s like someone pressed a relax button so it will be going back soon.  I can’t wait to start feeling the baby soon.  Tomorrow I will be 14 weeks and so the second trimester begins.  Only 5 more weeks until the gender is revealed!   (Hopefully)

I got it to work!

So I finally figured out the scanner and I just have to scan using photo image and not b&w image.  We went for the prenatal screening yesterday and the little bean was doing rolls and kicking up a storm!  I said uh-oh, it just might be a hyper little boy after all.  I have been really feeling that it is a girl but that just might be wishful thinking lol.  Of course we will be thrilled no matter what the sex is but when I was growing up I wished I had a sister and I was hoping for a sister for Taylor.  However it would be great to have a Momma’s boy too.  Can anyone out there read u/s pics?  If so, can they tell me if that is perhaps a little something protruding from between the baby’s legs?!  Most of my other IVF friends are told what the sex is but they do things differently here.  My anatomy scan is scheduled for December 2nd.  I hope we will be able to find out then, Taylor was shy and we had to pay for another u/s. 

My Scanner Sucks!

I have tried and tried to scan my ultrasound picture but no matter how hard I try to lighten it it just won’t turn out.  It is actually pretty hard to make anything out unless I was to point out what you are looking at anyways.  So for now here is a different picture LOL. 

One Pea In The Pod

We had our ultra sound today and we have one baby in there!  Although twins would have been great, a singleton is perfect and we are very excited.  I will try to upload the picture we were given tomorrow.  The belly bean was wiggling and dancing up a storm.  I am measuring 8 weeks and 5 days and I am currently 8 weeks and 4 days so we are right on track.  The heartbeat was 182 beat per minute.  Taylor was 181 beats per minute, so if you believe the old wives tales you can guess it’s a girl, which would be fine with me LOL! 

I was getting nervous…

So I POAS last night and this morning and now I feel better.  I just wanted to make sure the lines weren’t lighter and they weren’t.

Last night’s test.  The test line popped up right away and it was the control line that I was waiting to pop up LOL!  I can’t believe that the test line is much darker than the control line.

This was this mornings test and it is darker than the last test I took so I feel reassured again.  I still have another test because I am sure I will be freaking out in another week or two.  Hurry up Sept 21st!!

Yikes!

We went to the clinic yesterday to get my beta done.  I was hoping for a # in the 400-500 range because that was the average for 18 days past transfer.  I thought maybe I might have a higher # because when I was pg with Taylor my # at 17 days past transfer was 940.  The nurse called and said I see you decided to make the trip to the clinic to get the beta and I said yes, blah, blah, blah.  Then she said well it was worth it because the test was positive.  Then she asked me how many I transferred and I told her 2 and then she said something else like Oh two, I see.  Then I asked what the # was and then she said well that’s why I asked how many because your # is 1938!!  I said “Wowser, that’s really high LOL”.  She agreed and said we wouldn’t be sure until the u/s but it  sounds like there are two in there.  I’m still not so sure.  I had such a high beta with Taylor that I think it could still only be one.   Either way we are really excited and I can’t wait for the u/s.  It is scheduled for the 21st of September… soooo far away!  We are really hoping to see a heartbeat and have a healthy baby in 9 months.

Getting darker

Well today’s test is starting to look more like the control line so I think I might stop POAS LOL!  I only have one left and knowing me if this belly bean does stick there will come a time between my monthly appointments with the doctor that I will absolutely convince myself that the worst has happened.  I kept a few of the pee sticks in my office when I was working  just for that reason.  I have changed my mind again and I will make the drive to Ottawa for my beta test.  I can’t wait to get the # until Tuesday, so I will post when I know what it is.

So far so good!

I have been POAS since the day of my trigger.  I got a BFP until 8 days after the trigger and after that it was BFNs.  On Saturday I got the faintest of lines, so much so that I wasn’t sure if it was there or not.  On Sunday it was still really light so I still didn’t want to say anything.  On Monday it was darker, but still light.  This is today’s test.  Still light but much darker than Saturday’s squint test.  My beta is scheduled for Monday, I tried to move it to Friday but the clinic wasn’t budging!  So hopefully it is a nice high beta because they won’t do a repeat beta and my u/s isn’t scheduled until the 21st of September!  That’s a long time to worry about everything that can happen LOL.  DH and I are very excited but very cautious, however it’s hard not to dream about all the great things to come.  So exciting yet so terrifying!

Babies on Ice?

Nope!  They weren’t able to freeze any of the embryos but honestly I wasn’t expecting to be able to.  Because of that fact I am not all that bothered by it.  Would it have been nice?  You bet.  It just wasn’t in the cards for us.  Hopefully 1 of the 2 they transferred will stick around for the next nine and a half months to make up for it LOL! 

Transfer Report

The house of cards has been built!  Hopefully there isn’t a breeze LOL.  We transferred 2 blasts today.  They were both graded 2.5, so not great but not bad, just average.  One blast was farther ahead than the other.  The one that was farther ahead was a B4 which is just before a hatching blast, so I guess right were it should be.  The other one was a B1.  My RE gave me about a 40-50% chance of getting pg and about a 30% chance of twins.  It is still much higher than the "fertiles" have so I'll take what I can get LOL!  There were 3 morulas that they were growing out today and we may or may not have some to freeze.  I have to call tomorrow morning to find out if there were.  My beta test is on August 24th but I will POAS long before then, I’m impatient like that.  One second I have a good feeling then the next… not so much, but that’s just the way it goes.

5 Day Transfer

As the title suggests we are on for a 5 day transfer.  I didn’t hear from them today so that means we will have the transfer on Tuesday.  The clinic will call me tomorrow or Monday with the time to come in.  When they call they will not tell me how many embies are left, how they are growing, or give me grades… this is good or bad depending on how you look at it.  On one hand it is nice not to have to worry for 2 more days if they aren’t where they should be but on the other you don’t know how they are at all!  I like to know as much as possible as soon as possible LOL!!  I guess I might as well just try and forget about it because stressing about it won’t change a thing, so for the next 2 days I might as well be the guy in the photo LOL!!!

The Report

Well out of the 9 eggs they retrieved 9 were mature and 9 fertilized.  So we have 9 babies on the grow!  I am scheduled to go in on Tuesday for the transfer but if less than 5 look good tomorrow they will call me and I will go in on Sunday for the transfer.  It would be nice if there were some to freeze but I am not expecting it and would be thrilled if just one looked good by the time the transfer rolls around.  Grow embies grow!

OUCH!

They retrieved 9 eggs.  Now all they have to do is ICSI them and let nature take it’s course (as much as possible when it comes to IVF).  I will know more tomorrow when they call and give me the update.  I have to say that this was the most painful ER yet!  It is fun to watch the follicles being drained though.  I was feeling no pain and quite high until the RE really started pushing down to get to the follicles in the back.  It felt like he was pinching a nerve and both of my legs had shooting pains going down them but thankfully it didn't last more than 5 minutes.  I am tired because we got up at 4:30 this morning and a bit sore but other than that I feel good.  My E2 on Tuesday was 6994 Canadian or 1906 American.  I had the newbie RE do my ER today but the RE that did my last retrieval was in the room guiding him.  I think I might have preferred the original LOL! 

Time to trigger!

I was right, I trigger tonight.  I trigger tonight at 8:30.  My E2 was the highest it has ever been on day 10.  With my first cycle it was in the 3000’s Canadian or 700's American, with this cycle it is 5024 Canadian or 1369 American.  So it's nice to see a higher E2 than the first cycle, maybe this means we might have a few good quality embies… then again maybe not LOL, who knows?!  I had 1 @20, 4 @18, and 4 @17, the rest were @16 and below.  My ER is Thursday morning at 8:30.  I am happy to be able to sleep in tomorrow, after getting up at 5:00 am for the past few days 8:00 or 9:00 (depending on when DD gets up) seems like sleeping in real late LOL!!

One More Day?

I went in today not expecting to trigger and that's exactly what happened LOL.  I have to go back again tomorrow.  This time I think I will be triggering tomorrow.  Apparently 5 more follicles have decided to make a push for retrieval so now I have 11 follicles from 12-18mm.  So they want to try and let the 5 smaller  follicles catch up. I still don't think many more than 6 will be of quality and I'm fine with that. My E2 is starting to rise nicely.  It is a bit higher now than the first cycle  so that is encouraging.   I was also looking at my lining measurement and I made a mistake.  It is almost 12mm not 17 mm LOL, I thought it said 1.77 cm but it was actually 1.17cm and it was 1.18 cm today.

Still Stimming

Today I had 6 follicles in the 12-16mm range.  I also had 20 some other smaller follicles but they won’t catch up or if they do be of quality.  My lining is at 17mm, I am wondering when it becomes too thick LOL!  So far this cycle is so similar to the first one… let’s hope it ends the same.  My E2 on Friday was 1097 Canadian and 299 American.  I have to go back tomorrow for another check.  They said I might trigger tomorrow but usually when they say that it never turns out that way LOL. 

A familiar place

I seem to be stimulating similar to my first cycle.  It is a slow start but not quite as slow as before.  Today I had 6 measurable follicles and 24 smaller ones.  My E2 is low like my first cycle too, 301 Canadian and 82 American, but I start out very low too.   The only difference is that I had some measurable on day 7 (today), with my first cycle I didn’t have any measurable until day 9 so I am a little ahead.  Another huge difference is the fact that I am not a giant ball of stress assuming the worst.  I’m not expecting the best either but this time I am just waiting to see what happens before I start freaking out LOL.  I know from past experience that not every cycle is perfect and I can’t expect it to be.  I have to go back on Sunday.  BTW – 5:00 am is EARLY!!  My lining was 13mm, which is good and thick. 

First Appointment with Wanda!

I had my first blood work & ultrasound appointment today.  I assumed the position and “wanda” told me that I had 16 follicles on my left ovary and 20 on my right.  None were measurable (over 10mm) and they all will not be within range when I trigger, so I’m sure I won’t get 36 eggs at ER.  The ultrasound tech said I had high producing ovaries… now only if they produced better quality eggs LOL, then we would be cooking, but beggars can’t be choosers so I’ll take what I can get!  They also saw a small cyst beside (not on) my ovary and said it wasn’t a concern at all, it was just there along for the ride LOL!  My E2 levels are  unknown to me because they never called me!  The RE already told me what dose of meds to take so I’m not sure if I was supposed to get a call or not?!  I will ask when I go back what it was, and yes, I am charting all of this.  I can’t help it, it’s the type “A” coming out in me LOL!  I have to go back Friday for another appointment.

Ready, Set… GO!

We drove down to Ottawa last night and stayed at a hotel so I didn’t have to get up at 5:30 am.  Taylor had a fun time exploring the room and wasn’t afraid at all.  However, when it was time to go to sleep she had some troubles.  It was 9:30 before she finally went to sleep and she tossed and turned and cried multiple time throughout the night.  I guess she is too used to her own bed LOL.  We will not be staying in the hotel all together again until we have to.  The next time I need to go I will be going it alone until the ER.  So I went in this morning and had my blood drawn, just like the picture above, and no, that is not me.  When we got home the clinic called and gave me the all clear to start, yippee!  So I reduce my suprefact to .2 and start taking 150 of the puregon tonight.  I have to go back for b/w & u/s on Tuesday morning.  I grab Mike’s inspection book to cross off the morning appointment and it is already booked… UGH, isn’t that how it always goes?!  So with all that said I now leave you with this picture:

Almost time!

Time’s closing in on me!  Friday is quickly approaching and I am feeling nervous, anxious and excited.  It’s the uncertainty that’s the killer and all the what if’s.  I’m doing my best not to think about it too much but how can I not?  Taylor is of course a huge help in all regards, especially if it is a negative outcome. 

Good Riddance

I must say I am not sad to see the end of these little pills!  I am terrible at remembering to take them this time around.  I am taking them at 9:00 pm this time and it is a horrible time.  It was so much easier to remember them in the morning.  I just downed the last one a half an hour ago, and when I swallowed I gave a little closed fist hand pump!  So long BCP’s, I hate you, but will gladly take you any day if that’s what it takes.

Feeling Exposed!

I am a guarded person, it’s as simple as that.  I have issues with expressing my feelings, not so much on paper, but certainly in person.  I don’t know if it is a lack of something or a deeper issue, I’m guessing the later LOL!  I just don’t feel comfortable with people seeing me vulnerable, it makes me feel that much more exposed.  This doesn’t mean I don’t care about other people because I really do.  I don’t like seeing others in pain whether it be physically or emotionally and I genuinely wish I could help them in some way… just not verbally… face to face LOL!!  I get awkward, sweaty and fidgety if I have to try to console someone in person.  The same is usually true if I try to give a heartfelt “Thank-you” (so glad there are Thank-you cards that you write things on!)   On paper I can do it with no problem because I’m not worried about them seeing me with my guard down and can easily express myself. 

I do not have any of these issues with my daughter.  It is so funny and great how they can bring out the best in people!  Funny enough, my foot phobia (feet—GAG!!) disappears with her too, however I think the foot phobia will return when she is a teenager. 

Now what has got me feeling all unnerved?  Two silly dreams!  I had 2 dreams that I got a BFP.  I was very excited and happy in my dream and then I woke up.  I hate that feeling when you realized it was just a dream and it wasn’t real but even more than that I hate that I am having these dreams at all!!  I don’t want to dream about getting BFN’s either but for me they are easier to handle.  For me, going into an IVF cycle expecting the worst and hoping for the best is far easier than expecting the best.  These dreams are throwing me for a loop because I think subconsciously I am expecting this to work and don’t want to be super disappointed if it doesn’t.  Consciously, I know that this cycle has less of a chance at working than my first cycle and I tell myself that everyday, but as the starting date draws closer I can’t help feeling too excited for my own good.  That is why I am normally guarded, when you don’t expect much, you are not often disappointed. 

Geese, I ‘m a big ball of happiness tonight aren’t I, LOL?! 

Let the shots begin!

My days as a pin cushion have officially begun… again!  Today at 4:00 pm I injected my first shot of suprefact.  So far so good, my mood is light, no headaches, no nausea, and no hot flashes, yeah.  However, this is only day one, I still have almost 4 more weeks left to go.   

BFPT 111

You know you have IVF on the mind when you are stuck in the Tim Horton’s line up and the license plate of the car in front of you makes you smile and gives you hope.  BFP in the infertility world means Big Fat Positive.  I notice this BFP in the first part of the plate and then I tried to take it one step further.  Imagine my delight when I work it out to exactly the way I want it.  BFPT – Big Fat Positive Test!  111 – 3 lines = 2 lines (as in a positive) and 1 line (as in control line) LOL!!  Who the hell thinks of these crazy things aside from me?  I have been seeing lots of BFPT plates since then (now that I’m looking for them) but none of them worked out like this first one I spotted.  I hope I don’t see any BFNT plates or I will probably start counting all of them and see which ones are in the lead. 

I spoke with my insurance agent and the meds will be covered!  All I have to do is mail in the original receipt with a form and they will mail me a cheque back.  I am going to wait until the stimming part of the cycle is over though because I am positive I will need more Puregon. 

It was bound to happen

I just knew everything was going along too smoothly LOL!  I picked up my meds and some of them were covered just not the one I wanted to be covered.  I can’t complain too much because we have saved over $400.00 so far but the Puregon wasn’t and that was the big one.   I am going to try to call my insurance rep tomorrow to see why it wasn’t and make a minor stink about it.  The policy says Infertility Meds with a lifetime of $4000.00.  I am using the Puregon for IF so to me it should be covered.  We’ll see what happens but I won’t let it get to me, for some reason I just knew this was going to be an issue.

Marvelous Marvelon

It seems funny to be posting a picture of these again!  It was just over 2 years ago when I posted with the same title and this picture:Different counter top (I really wish I still had that one)  but the same pills.   So tonight I will begin taking this ironic little pill and hopefully get pregnant!

Keeping my fingers crossed

I picked up my BCP’s yesterday and I should be getting the rest of my meds tomorrow or Monday.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that the insurance will cover the meds like it says it will.  I am hopeful but I’m not stupid.  I’ll believe it when I have them in my hot little hands for a fraction of the cost.  We’ll see soon enough!

I'm back in the ring!

Now I have that AC/DC song "back in black" playing on my head! Anyways, AF was there to greet me this morning and so I called in with my day 1. Next they called me back to get my credit card #, heaven forbid they do anything before you pay for the cycle LOL. $8,300.00 later they call me back again with my schedule. I will start the BCP's on Friday and take them until July 16th. On July 10th I will start taking the suprefact shots. I go in for my baseline b/w on the 24th and if everything is good with those #'s I will start my stims that day. So it looks like the ER will be the first week of August. Which means I should know if I am pregnant or not by mid to late August. EEK! Fingers crossed!

Tapping my Fingers

Still waiting on my damb AF! That wench never shows up when you want her to and always appears when you don't want her to! AF YOU SUCK!!!

Could time go by any slower?

Just when I thought time was going by so quickly it seems to have slowed to a crawl this past week! I mean come on, WTF, LOL!? AF is due on Monday but at this rate I am guessing she will be late. I think once I hear back from the nurse and she says that I can start the BCP's I will be fine... ya right. Atleast I will get my schedule and have a better idea of when ER & ET will be. I always find this part ironic... hoping for my AF to arrive so I can' start the BCP's and hopefully get pregnant!

And so it begins

I tried to fight it, I managed to for awhile, but I’m losing now.  From here on out IVF will slowly consume me.  I have already looked over the calendar today trying to figure out when my schedule will be.  I entered my cycle stats in the computer and have it ready for my new stats for comparison.  I have a rough estimate figured out of a possible due date!(I know that is so jumping the gun but I did it last time too LOL)  I have already joined an IVF board.  This time around will be different though, I have Taylor and she will definitely keep me preoccupied most of the day.  It’s those nap and bed times that I worry about LOL!!   Looks like I might have to start the goals up again.

Good to go…

We have been given the green light with my RE!  I am to call in with my day 1, which should be some where between the 22nd and the 25th.  In times like these though I usually expect to be late so by at least the end of the month I expect to be starting the BCP’s.  There is a chance that we will be delayed or pushed back a month depending on their schedule.  Hopefully this won’t be the case, but if it is it just means I could get my blood work & ultrasounds done in Kingston. 

He asked me if I was hoping to be a satellite patient or if I wanted to start sooner.  I said “actually…. I was hoping to call in with my next day 1”.  He snickered and said it shouldn’t be a problem.  I think he understands that once we get IVF on the brain it can’t start soon enough LOL. 

Our % chances have decreased since the first time we cycled but it is still 45%.  That is 20% higher than the average fertile couple so we can’t be unhappy with that.  I am going into this cycle not expecting to fail but at the same time not expecting to succeed.  DH and I have decided that this will be our last IVF attempt and if it fails we will be sad but at the same time we are totally fulfilled with Taylor.  I thought that when the time came to make this decision I would be devastated but I am actually okay.  I feel relieved and content with this decision (for know anyways, LOL).  I know that feelings can change but I really think I will not change my mind.  I am a total planner and when I have one I just feel peaceful.  This plan will not deter me from stressing and over analyzing everything about my cycle but it will relax me once the transfer is done (if we make it that far).  LOL, I am going on and on about it failing!  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely would not bother doing this if I didn’t think I could get pregnant, I can, and have!  I really want to have another baby, BADLY, I just know it may not happen and after some sadness I will be okay. 

The closer you get...

Only 2 weeks and 1 day before our appointment with Dr. Min. I can't believe that time has gone by that quickly. However, I am feeling much different this time around. I am extremely nervous and anxious about the whole ordeal. I was so happy and excited the first time... I can't be a sattelite patient this time so I am going to have to go to Ottawa for all of my b/w & u/s's. Do I get up super early in the morning (5:00 am) and drive there or should I stay at a hotel the night before and drive home afterwards. Will Mike & Taylor come with me? How long does Mike need to take off of work? Will I be late? Will Taylor be okay? How many inspections does this mean Mike will miss? Can we afford to stay overnight in the hotels? How grumpy am I going to be if I get up that early? Should I bring Taylor to the appointment on the 2nd? Waaaaayy to many unanswered questions that I have been trying to ignore for weeks. I am such a planner and I can't stand not knowing what to do! I really think I need to talk to Mike about it all but sometimes he just makes things worse LOL!!! To be even more of a downer I haven't even talked about the whole rollercoaster of emotions that goes along with IVF! Will it work? How many follicles do I have? What's my E2? I hope I don't mess up the injections! How big are they? When will I get to trigger? How many eggs did they get? Will they be mature? Will they fertilize? Will they keep dividing? How many are left? Will it be a 3 or 5 day transfer? Will I have any to transfer? How good of quality are they? Will one implant? I could go on forever LOL!! I think in order for me to feel better about things I need to get a plan in regards to travelling to Ottawa every other day and as I get closer to trigger, everyday. Ultimately, I think staying in the hotel the night before would be better. It might be an added expense but atleast I will be able to function and not be so grumpy from lack of sleep. The meds already take a toll on the old attitude, I better not make it worse and be tired too! Now to break the bad news (spending $) to Mike. LOLOLOL!!!

Show & Tell

Here is a sampling of pictures that I took on one of my walks.  I love this time of year!  When I was a child I never appreciated what spring had to offer,  in fact, I didn’t like spring or fall.  I only liked summer and winter.  When I was a teenager my love of winter disappeared along with my days of tobogganing down the hills and making snow forts.  I only liked summer because of the beautiful weather.  Now that I am older I love what spring and fall offer.  I love seeing nature come to life and I look forward to the warmer weather.  Fall amazes me with all it’s vibrant colours.  It doesn’t hurt that it makes for gorgeous pictures either.  Now if only that darn winter season wasn’t so long…

Want to see what the rest of the class is showing?  Go to Stirrup Queens and have a look.

Time Flies? Or Not

Tick tock! I got the call. Glad I didn't hold my breath LOL! We still have the June 2nd appointment. Mike needs to go get some tests done, whoops, forgot about him! I was so busy getting tests done for myself that I never considered he would need blood tests done again. We did have the SA done but forgot about the blood. Oh well, no biggy. We have to go to Napanee for the conference though which I thought was weird cause we live in Kingston. She said it would be done in Kingston or Napanee, I just assumed it would be Kingston... we all know what happens when you ass-u-me though! So we have an hour and a half video conference call with Dr. Min at 10:00 and we will sign our consent forms then. After that we should be good to go... please be good to go.

News & Goals

Here are the after shots. You might notice that a picture of the top catch-all drawer is missing. Here's the reason, it will never be clean and organized. It pretty much looked like that the day I moved in. It will not get much better and it certainly could not stay organized if it did, I am far to lazy LOL! I had alot more room in my "pantry" than I thought I had. I decided that my cupboards could be organized too so that is the next goal. I willpost before pics of those soon.




I was just about to start our walk at Lemoine's Point when the cell phone rang. Thanks to Bell I have been forwarding all the house calls to my cell phone if I go out and today it paid off. I am currently booked for a June 2nd video phone conference LOL!! I feel so modern. It is a new thing they have started for long distance patients. I will be able to go to KGH and have my appointment in one of their conference rooms and I won't have to drive to Ottawa. Dr. Min's assistant also said we could just print out the consent forms and mail it to them. I told her that we already had all of our testing done and other things refreshed and she said that she was going to show Dr. Min my file and if he said everything looked good that she would call back and make the appointment earlier! Once that is done I should be able to call in with my day 1 and start. So If all goes well and the new appointment is before May 18th I just might be starting in May instead of June! Can you tell I am excited? I am also a bit of a pessimist too though, so I am not holding my breath on that either. I am quite happy to be able to start in June, things are going so much faster compared to the first time around.

I have an unusual amount of storage space and I just can't seem to keep it organized! You would think with all that space everything would have it's place, and well, it does, I just can't seem to put things back were the belong LOL! Once I get this stuff organized I am going to try to keep it that way. Even Mike is commetiing that we need to do a spring cleaning... I think it was a hint. Next week I will tackle the basement storage... dun, dun, dun!

Goal Complete!

Here is the almost finished product. I just have 7 loads of laundry to do (&%$@#^#^% CAT)!! Actually I have already done 5 loads today so I should be 100% done in another hour or two.

BEFORE




AFTER

Unofficial Appointment

Well I got sick of waiting so I called.  They did get my referral but they do things a little differently now.  They hired 1 person to make all appointments for all the RE’s.  So Dr. Min’s assistant told me that if the new lady didn’t call me within the next 2 weeks to give her a call back.  She also told me that Dr. Min didn’t have a really long waiting list and that I should clear my schedule for June 2nd or 5th.  JUNE 2ND OR 5TH!!??  That might not be long to her but it is to me LOL!!  Actually it isn’t that bad in comparison to the first cycle.  They called me the beginning of August and my initial appointment was scheduled for mid October so this time frame is much better.  Unfortunately that means the earliest I can do the transfer is July sometime.  Of course my cycle would not be on my side, my damn period is always inconveniencing me LOL!! 

As I said before, I will ask to be put on the cancellation list but since it is only a month and a bit away I doubt I will get in any sooner… bummer.  On the bright side it will give me a chance to lose a few pounds and get some caffeine free days in.  That also gives me a few more weeks to set some new goals. 

Progress??

   Is this progress?  Not really!  However, I have come to a few conclusions while getting to this point. 

1st.  I have too many hangers, or do I?  In fact, no I don’t.  I have too much laundry to do.  I have about 5 loads that needs to be done.  I guess that means I have more clothes than I need.

2nd.  I really miss my old closet!  I used to be able to get all these clothes in there and more, and still have room left for more.  I guess that’s just part of moving on but oh how I miss you my old closet buddy!  That and the hardwood floors but that story is for another post.

3rd.  That big box in the back of the closet is full of my maternity clothes.  Upon removal of the small box on top of it I discovered that the cat had pissed and shit in it!!  Filthy beast!!  I’m not sure if it was just a convenient place for him to go at the time or if it was a big F-U to me for having a baby.  Oh and make that 7 loads of laundry to do!        $#%^**&(&&$%$@ CAT!

4th.  Cat for sale.

Just kidding.  The filthy beast stays for now but he is getting farther & farther out on that thin ice everyday!

Another New Goal

Well it seems as though I have underestimated myself. Decembers #'s have been entered into Simply Accounting and it took me about a half an hour LOL! So I am setting yet another new goal. I will attempt to clean my closet. I have all sorts of things in there like toys, boxes, tub stuff, cat food and of course shoes and clothes. Below are a few pictures of my shame. I will post a picture of the compled task on Monday... or sooner.

Here's The Proof

Oops, I forgot to post the picture of the completed task! Without further adue, here it is...

BEFORE


AFTER


I suppose I should give myself a new goal for this week. It is to get December's information added to Simply Accounting.(Blush) Yes, I am that far behind with that too LOL!!

Mel's Show & Tell

It's time to show & tell again! Check out Stirrup Queens blog and join in on the fun!

I seem to be stuck in that waiting pattern. Time stands still when you are waiting for the clinic to call. So I have been trying to keep myself busy when I have some down time. Since my goal for the week was a fairly light one I have been passing time by editing some pictures in Elements. Thanks to this program I have been able to salvage some fairly dark pictures that otherwise would have been deleted from my camera. So I just felt like thanking the makers of Photoshop Elements for helping me pass some time and saving a few dark pictures! I wanted to get it lighter but I am such an amateur and everything I tried made it look unnatural.



It's time to show & tell again! Check out Stirrup Queens blog and join in on the fun!

Baby Swag!

Here is a picture of a crib that I am trying to win. Do I need it? Not so much... Taylor already has a crib, BUT hopefully soon enough I will need it! Othewise what they heck am I doing IVF for?! So if you see an amazingly annoying amount of posts with the words Bellaziza's Favorite Things in it you'll know why. If you would like a chance to win this crib head over to Bellaziza's Favorite Things and just try and beat me on the # of entries LOL!!



Here's a picture of the stack of reports that I have been neglecting for months now. I have sorted them into year and month (yes, it's been since last year, LOL!) and I just have to 3 hole punch them and put them into the binders that I bought last night. I will post another picture of the completed task just so you all know I did it and to force myself to do it! Still waiting for that call from the clinic...

Things I love Thursday

I love making headbands for my DD! Or maybe I just love taking pictures of her with them on. Either way I am addicted. I wish she would keep them on for more than 5 minutes though...

Do you want to share what you love? Go to Diaper Diaries if you do.

Something to do?

Last night I was reading a blog that I just love!  This girl has become such a great photographer by just buying books and trying out different things and has inspired me to try and do the same.  If you want to follow her blog too it is Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.  Anyways, as I was reading it she gave me a good idea.  While she was waiting for her referral to adopt a baby girl she decided to come up with weekly goals to occupy her time, therefore, time would go by faster.  So, I am going to give myself a weekly goal as well to try and pass some of my spare time.  I know I don’t have that much spare time but I decided that it was probably better spent achieving a goal rather than just being on the computer after Taylor goes to bed.  Now for weekly goal #1.  Since I only have half the week left I didn’t want to make it too unachievable so I decided this weeks goal will be too get all of Mike’s Inspection reports together and file them away.  I have been really slacking on this task and there are reports all over our house.  It’s funny though, Taylor is taking a nap and I am on the computer posting to my blog LOL!  No really, I am going to post this and then start working on my goal.  Happy hump day!

Let The Games Begin!

The referral is sent!  Fantastic!  Want to take wagers on when Ottawa will call me?  I’ll take a stab at it and say 4 weeks.  However, I am not nearly that patient and will probably call them in 2 weeks if I haven’t heard from them LOL!!  Let the games begin…

Ever Wonder What it’s Like to do IVF?

Yep, that about sums it up!

Some days I feel like this.

I’ve got the body but not all the things necessary to ride, LOL!

Lessons Learned

Since this will not be my first cycle I have learned a few things that will be helpful in this next round.

First.  Although not always, the squeaky wheel does usually get the grease.  I waited for 4 months before I called and asked my RE’s secretary if Ottawa had received my referral.  The wench lied and said they had.  I waited another month before I called Ottawa and asked them if they had, they had not.  By the time everything had worked out it was a year before we were able to get the cycle under way.  Lesson learned?  Trust no one, harass everyone! 

Second.  It was the start of August by the time the clinic called me to set up an initial consultation.  It was scheduled for mid October.  After waiting so long for them to call me another 2 1/2 seemed like an eternity!  But what could I do?  I waited until October and had my appointment.  I told my new RE about the crazy mess and how long it had taken to get in to see him.  He then told me that I could have asked to be put on a cancellation list and I probably could have seen him sooner.  Lesson Learned?  Be assertive not submissive!

Third.  Once I was able to see my RE I had to schedule another appointment for consent signing in November.  Another month!  It wasn’t until I was already in my second trimester that I discovered that they are accommodating to couples from far away and will schedule all these appointments together so you don’t have to make so many trips.  Lesson learned?  Don’t be afraid to be “that person”.  Ask questions, they don’t bite!

Fourth.  Finally the forms had been signed.  Let’s do IVF!!  Wrong!  Let’s do some tests.  FINE, let’s do tests.  I had to wait until day 3 of my cycle (period) and go in for some blood tests.  Luckily it was only a week away so we were still in November.  I did the tests and waited for the results. All looks well… except we are missing one.  I call Kingston, Kingston calls Ottawa, Ottawa calls me, no, we are still missing it.  You need to wait until your next day 3 and get that test. UGH!!  Lesson Learned?  Get your blood tests done just before you want to do IVF!!  I really learned my lesson on this one… I already had the tests done a month ago, I am ready to roll. 

Fifth.  It is now December and everything is finally done, let’s get started, NOT!  It is too close to Christmas and that is the only time of year we close for a week.  Oh, you won’t get your period until the beginning of February?  Too bad!  Lesson learned?  Don’t try to do IVF too close to Christmas/New Year’s! 

Sixth.  Finally, it’s February let’s start.  Okay!  We just need you to come to an education session and an injections class but you can do those in the middle of your cycle so you can start.  YIPEE!!  Did I mention that every time we went to Ottawa it was a blizzard outside?  Lesson learned?  Don’t do IVF in the dead of winter! 

I really could go on and on… but I won’t. I have already applied some of the lessons learned from my first cycle.  I have all my tests up to date.  I am bypassing my RE’s horrible secretary and getting my regular Dr. to send the referral. I am not doing IVF close to Christmas.  I am not doing IVF in the dead of winter.  I don’t have to go in for an education session or an injections class.  Finally when they call to set-up the initial consultation I will ask to schedule the consent signing the same day, that way I will be ready to call in with my day 1 and get things rolling! 

Should I, Or Shouldn’t I?

  

Okay, okay, I know the saying is “let the cat out of the bag” but I found these pictures more amusing than the ones with a bag.  I figured close enough… they are both 3 letter words starting with a “b”.  Back to my point, I am trying to decide if I should tell everyone that I am doing another cycle again.  HHhmmm, pro’s and con’s for both options.  On one hand I will get to have the element of surprise if it works and if it doesn’t I don’t have to tell everyone it didn’t.  On the other hand I will have to tell them we did it and it didn’t work when they ask when we are going to do it again.  Then they will be secretly pissy and wonder why we didn’t tell them and get that look… Maybe 'I’ll just take a wait and see approach.  There are a few people who obviously know but since very few people from our families read Taylor’s Blog there is a huge chance they won’t read this one either, lol!!  I guess the cat stays put for now.

Mildly Amusing… Mostly Irritating!

Seriously?!  Thanks so much Octomom for being the face of IVF.  You have brought so much positive attention to IVF… NOT!!  UGH, just go away, I am so over it!  I hope no one shows up at my door looking like this, this Halloween.

Squeaky Wheel Gets The Grease?

Does the squeaky wheel really get the grease? Not so much! Oh well, it was worth a try. What, you might ask? Me, trying to bypass the doctor referral, to get an appointment with my RE. I figured, what the heck, it can't hurt, and it didn't, but the assistant said I needed a referral if it has been more than a year. It's been just over two years so ya, I need a referral. No need for me to fret though, I have a doctor's appointment on the 6th and I can get him to send it then. Why the rush? Why don't I want to wait another 6 days? Well that's a long story and one that will probably be told later on down the line. I just feel anxious, unpatient, unsettled, and, and, and... pretty much the usual when it comes to all things IF!

Trying to get the ball rolling...

I found out not too long ago that I can just bypass my RE in Kingston. All I have to do is get my regular doctor to fax a referral form to Ottawa and presto! This is a huge relief cause the secretary for my RE in Kingston is a nightmare!!! If you'll recall I asked her to send in a referral for me AUGUST 15, 2007!!! What do you know I have not heard from them, lol!! So I am just not interested in even talking to her again! I swear nothing polite would be said in that conversation, lol!!

Taylor has an appointment on Tuesday so I am going to try to get them to hook me up then and if they can't I will make an appointment so they can.

Mike has an appointment with the health insurance guy tomorrow night so hopefully that will start right away as well. I saw something that said you have to wait 3 months for it to take effect though so we will see. Of course, 3 months from now would be the perfect time since that is when our mortgage is up for renewal and that's when we would get the $ to do it. Hopefully everything comes together and I won't have to wait a year to do IVF like I had to the first time, lol!!

Here is a list of "ASS-VICE" and other dumb comments people with IF don't wan't to hear and the come backs I wish I could say:

"Just relax, you're thinking about it too much." REPLY - Gee, now that you mention it, you're probably right. Followed by a swift drop kick!

"When you're done (doing it) lift your legs up in the air. That worked for me every time." (Yes, someone actually said that to me, lol!) What I said - "LOLOLOLOL! Thanks for the disturbing visual." What I really wanted to say - OMG are you seriously that stupid?!"

"Why don't you just adopt?" or "Have you thought about adoption?" REPLY - "Sure I have, have you thought about a lobotomy?"

"Atleast you can have fun trying." REPLY - "The novelty wore off years ago, it is NOT fun!"

"You can have one of mine." or "You can borrow mine if you want." REPLY - I probably wouldn't have a reply for that, maybe just a humph. Those comments really cut deep and no, we don't want your kids, especially if you don't, lol!

"I can't believe you can't get pregnant, I just have to look at my husband and I'm knocked up." REPLY - "How nice for you, why don't you try keeping your legs closed when you look at him then!"

"You should be glad, think of all the money you will have and all the stuff you can do." Except we're spending our life savings on trying you F'N moron!"

"Once you do IVF you will get pregnant easily." REPLY - "I wish." That one is not that bad but it just invokes a hissing, arched back feeling.

Too Good To Be True?!

Mike(DH), met with someone from the Chamber of Commerce today to discuss buying health insurance for us. He was getting quite anxious about making sure we had coverage incase something was to happen to Miss T. Before he even had a chance to ask he was told over the phone that the policy would not cover eye glasses or infertility meds. That was fine with us as the original intenet was to just make sure dental and most other prescription drugs were covered. So he made an appointment to meet with him today and get the proper papers we needed to apply and learn more about the plan. To our utter and extremely greatful surprise, we found out that Fertility Meds were covered, up to $4000.00 max for life! That is enough to cover atleast 1 more cycle of IVF for us and possibly half of a second, depending on how much meds they want me on! So I guess the obvious question is "Is this too good to be true?". I guess we will see soon enough... Fingers crossed that this is legit!

Blog Title Explained

I have recently discovered that there are people who feel the need to share their uneducated, unexperienced and unwanted opinions on infertility. Thanks to Octo-Mom, IVF seems to be a never ending topic to criticize and judge. I am a member of the BBC, a place where people with children or are trying to have children chat, and I have read many posts that start with "I would never...", or "If it was me...". You can always tell the fertiles from the infertiles, lol!! Those without infertility always have something negative to say. The ones with infertility just kinda cringe and try not to say too much about it. What irritates me the most is that it takes such sensational stories to bring ART to the spot light! It is very frustrating when Octo-Mom, the 60 year old lady & the grandma who gave birth to her grandchildren are the face of IVF in the media. I am not saying I approve or disapprove with these 3 situations but I am pised that the media doesn't shed ART procedures in a positive light. What about the millions of couples who have benefited from ART procedures? What about those still tying to benefit? These stories and opinions do not help when we are trying to get the government to aid us in our journey. So I ask, what if it was you? What if you couldn't have a baby on your own? What if you tried for years and still had no children? What if you were the one spending gobs of $ on ART procedures? Would you still have something to say then? IF is also the short form of infertility so I thought it was befitting. There you have it, the reason for the blog title. And this was one of my shorter rants!